HOW TO HANDLE INCESSANT COLLEAGUES

Within your office, each coworker has his or her responsibilities. The majority of the time only you and the honcho you report to are knowledgeable of your daily agenda. Yet despite that, there’s always a small group of associates (or maybe one) who think you are doing nothing. Usually, those colleagues think they are the only ones carrying the weight of the department or the company on their shoulders even though your titles and workloads, in most cases, are the same, if not similar. Those persons have a chip on one of their shoulders – I don’t know which one, maybe both – and haven’t been able to remove it. How you handle these types of colleagues who watch you and complain incessantly will determine your performance. In this article, I’ll share with you tried, tested, and proven strategies that you can implement immediately to improve your quality of life in the marketplace.Working with colleagues who watch you and complain can become very irksome. How you deal with them will determine how well you perform. If you are looking for a quick solution here’s how you do it, simply put, ignore them as best as you can because when you submit your weekly report or timesheet, it doesn’t go to them (correct?). Let me ingeminate that a little louder in your soul, those annoying coworkers don’t sign your timesheet so it doesn’t matter! Also, you don’t need their approval for vacation or you don’t have to give them a sick note after your doctor’s visit. If none of those reasons aforementioned applies to the commentator, why should a lousy comment get your attention to rob your focus when you could be doing something more important? Even if you are tempted to say something, try to exert self-restraint like a tai chi master and hold your breath (but not for too long!). Yes, you can do it! My friend Solomon said in one of his books, Proverbs 29:11, that only a fool releases everything on his mind at once and I know you are not one. I know you have a lot of thoughts floating through your mind like loose seaweeds but here’s the good news, most negative comments don’t require a rebuttal. Sometimes it’s best to remain reticent because the moment you engage the chronic complainers, that’s when you choose to stoop to their level and start to expend the company’s asset: time. Keep in mind that during that moment, you are also wasting your energy like spilled gas. When that occurs, that’s when the shark, Mr. Jaw in the cartoon would shout, “Gotcha!” Remember a shark doesn’t bother you until you first enter its territory (or vice versa) so don’t engage any. Treat your colleague’s talk like a one-way sign that says, “Do not enter.” Remember the most important thing about that sign is to obey it.Your focus should always be on your primary mission. Try to ignore all distractors after you identify who they are and continue to work assiduously at meeting your deadlines, and goals, and become even more efficient. The bottom line, is if what they are saying is not edifying, don’t entertain their antipathetic comments. I’m not saying you can’t talk to the distractors or socialize, all I’m saying is if you do decide to speak with them, you direct the ship. With that said when you’re guiding the ship you don’t want to keep them on board for too long either because they are stuck in their rotten ways. You can’t change anyone unless the person wants to change. The moment they enter your environment it becomes toxic if you’re not alert. Trust me you don’t want to go through daily detox for something you can avoid. Furthermore, I know this type of encounter or confrontation is not easy to deal with but the greatest solution is to keep hitting the ignore button that’s on the virtual screen of your mind instead of fighting with aggressive words to win. Fighting ingests too much energy. Sooner or later they’ll get it. Don’t harness and store energy to respond to these types of colleagues. You only need to identify who they are and keep them at bay. As long as your supervisors are happy, you don’t have to respond to anyone else because all your bases are covered. But with your coworkers, your only obligation is to treat them like NYPD with CPR: courtesy, professionalism, and respect. Try to get along the best way you can with them and limit the chitchat to a tee when it’s time to work. If you want to talk with them longer, talk about their strengths and remain the positive. This is directed solely at negative coworkers who like to watch you and complain. You don’t owe them anything else. I’ve seen cases where employees grumble and curse their supervisors, when they are not around, for giving them too much work while they sit inside their cubicles doing nothing. I often ask, “How do you know they are not doing anything?” When I receive an interesting answer, I’ll ask another question and it usually kills the noise from the nitpicker. The question is, “Are you telling me that the company hired your supervisor or boss to do nothing? Think about this for a second, if you are a boss, why would you pay an employee top salary to do nothing?” That sounds ridiculous but it works. Like I said, when you talk to nitpickers you have to be very cautious because their toxic behaviors can become communicable, and trust me it will take several hours or days to go through a total detox. Stephen Covey said in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effectively People, that you should avoid talking about anyone in a negative light because as you talk about them, they’ll talk about you the same and even worse. Essentially what he’s saying is that what goes around comes around. If you expect good things, only speak good and act in that fashion. Remember a volcano doesn’t erupt unless it’s active. More than likely, even though your coworker is complaining to you about others not doing their jobs, they are also complaining about you too. Pay close attention. Some are bold enough to complain about you to “you” while others are not. I remember asking a supervisor how he handles these types of workers who like to complain and he explained to me that supervisors have eyes too. In other words, the chronic complainers’ opinions are useless because no real supervisor, boss, or manager, needs that type of cheerleader. The managerial staff are fully aware.Another strategy these negative complainers will use is to walk around your desk (or cubicle) to see what you are doing. They usually do it in a very guileful way by turning their backs and pretending like they are looking for something. Some would even turn their backs to you as they approach but you and I know it’s a farce so be on the qui vive. Sometimes they’ll walk by your desk to talk and waste valuable moments. When this happens, here’s what you do, as they approach your desk, let it be the time you break for micturition. You could even say, for example, “Jon you came just in time when I need to go and use the restroom.” How fitting that would be since you get to dump the waste instead of receiving or listening to it. Whatever you say, make sure that’s what you are going to do. Be honest and polite.I know it’s instinctive to help or attempt to change toxic colleagues but you can’t change them until they are ready. Dealing with these people in the workplace can become draining and sometimes depressing if you allow them to steal your focus. But once you get into flow stay committed to the activity, and you won’t notice them unless there’s a major alarm. None of us are the same and our tolerance levels are different but we can take the bad and make it work to our advantage. In other words, the nitpickers can be used in our favor. Now, think what difference that would make. For example, many people dislike President George Bush for whatever reason but anytime I was down I would turn the TV on, during his presidency, for one of his talks, and the moment I saw him, I received a good laugh. It never fails. On a side note, I don’t have any qualms about the former president. He handled negative people well. Nevertheless, if you work with colleagues who are negative and they’re affecting the way you work, don’t let them get the best of you. Try to use them as a motivation to excel because you don’t want to adopt their behaviors. Paul was correct when he said in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that “…evil communication corrupt good manners.” When it’s all said and done, you don’t want to be like them or adopt any of their toxic idiosyncrasies. You just keep on doing the best you can and find more ways to develop your skills to be more efficient. If you are a boss reading this, I wouldn’t suggest you fire them, I would recommend that you look into the creative side of your brain and come up with creative ways to apply their gifts in the office.As always please feel free to leave a comment and let me how you handle these types of coworkers.