GREETINGS

How are you or how are you doing?

A few years ago, depending on what time of the day, it was customary to say hi, good morning, good afternoon, or good evening. The most important salutation was good morning. If I didn’t say good morning to my neighbor, I’d be in big trouble when I reach home. The trouble wouldn’t be why I didn’t say good morning or I need to apologize; it would lead up to punishment and sometimes a scolding because it is critical to upbringing. Why does a simple greeting such as good morning have so much relevance? It’s important because how you start the day determines how you finish it. Better yet, besides being polite, based on how one responds to a greeting gives a good indication of their state or mood. Fast forward to 2014 and the way we greet someone is different. It transcends to “Hi, how are you” or as Wendy Williams puts it, “how are you doing?” This way of greeting someone has become so trendy or better yet a catchphrase that it has lost its true purpose. Now the question becomes, when you say hi, how are you, do you mean it? The next question becomes when you ask how you doing, do you care? Those two questions led me to start evaluating and digging deeper when someone greets me. Throughout the daily hustle and bustle, you don’t want to miss the opportunity to let someone know that his or her presence matters. Sometimes we get so caught up in our world that we forget to put a little human touch in the way we greet others. I remember I was heading to a meeting and a wonderful, older gentleman, shouted, how are you, young fellow? I wasn’t feeling well and before I shook his hand and said “well”, I saw his back. “Wow” that made me think; he treated me like a panhandler. He didn’t mean the question he asked. He only asked it because it was trendy (or sounded good). Not only have I noticed this trend with friends, I’ve seen it with colleagues. One of my co-worker’s favorite ways to greet me is “How are you doing?” One morning after he greeted several of his colleagues I shook his hand, looked him in the eye, and asked, “I’m doing a little research and I don’t mean to stress you out but when you asked that question, do you mean it?” “Which question?” He asked. The one you greeted me with, how are you doing?” He’s a muscular brother who benches over 250 lbs. so one of the small statues might become intimidated. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Of course brother. It’s not only the correct thing to say but we ought to because it shows that we care. That interaction has caused me to remember a man I saw at a service that wasn’t doing too well. I received the unction to go and ask how he was doing but I didn’t proceed. About two weeks later he was dead. Imagine how I felt. I’m not saying that when a colleague, family member, or friend greets you, you’re going to tell your life story or listen to theirs, no. Stop and talk for a few seconds rather than just saying well to the question. Don’t just ask because everyone is doing it. You be the difference. Your sincerity and compassion might give hope. I remember asking a gentleman how you doing without noticing his limp before he said “One moment” and showed me a picture on his phone of his missing toes. He made a big decision before bed bugs reached his bloodstream. His colleague told me that since the surgery he has been showing the pictures and that’s how he gets comfort. I was going to revert to saying good morning because everyone was just asking questions like how are you and how you doing and don’t mean it. But after asking the gentleman with the missing toes how he was doing and the way he received it showed me that greeting someone does matter. And I leave you with this when you greet someone with Hi, how are you, do you mean it? Ask yourself that question next time and be willing to listen and share a few encouraging words or some of your best thoughts.

Speech no. 9